It’s officially Spring, a season that always feels like an invitation to begin again…or return to what we left unfinished. I used to love this time of year, but the temperature is reading 97 degrees and it’s still March. It’s hot for no reason! 😁However, the idea of rebirth, growth and stepping into my masculine energy after a long winter’s nap is exciting.
We’re ending the first quarter and I’m taking a look at my projects to see what is still sitting there unfinished. One main project is editing That Night on the Bridge. My alpha readers are waiting patiently.
I wish I could fib and say I don’t know why I’m procrastinating. I know the exact reason. If I don’t finish the book, then I avoid judgement. The fear of criticism–something I’m going to have to keep working on probably until my last breath.
Even in midlife, when I think I should be bolder and not care what others think, there is still that little girl inside of me that feels the sting. I won’t allow it to stop me, but it does slow me down.
This is the best month to show up stronger. It’s National Women’s History month. I’ve built a writer’s altar to honor the women that influenced me to want to be a writer–Zora Neale Hurston, Octavia Butler, Bebe Moore Campbell and Toni Morrison. These are the women that I admired and studied.
In addition, actress, director and producer, Penny Marshall. She may have been an even bigger influence. Not only did I love the show Laverne and Shirley, but she directed some of my favorite movies: A League of Their Own, The Preacher’s Wife, Riding In Cars with Boys.
I’ve asked myself if it’s too late to go to film school, however, my calling is in the writer’s room. I won’t give up the dream that one day I will be on someone’s set watching a movie made from behind the scenes.
What dreams are you still holding onto? Are you like me and just moving slower towards them out of fear? This is my queue to pull The War of Art by Steven Pressfield off the shelf. It’s a must re-read for me every year. Resistance is real and I need the constant reminder. I’m determined not to leave this life taking my stories to the grave. That book is the “kick in the pants” to take the attention off me and put it on the writing.
I pulled my script off the proverbial shelf and read through it. Instead of starting over, I’m learning to work from the middle—asking better questions instead of assuming the story is broken.
I’m also documenting that process in a six-part series on my podcast, Habits of a Writer. If you’ve ever felt like your story has stalled, or you’ve run out of ideas, maybe you don’t need to quit—you might just need a different approach. I’ll leave a link below if you want to listen.
This month reminded me of something bigger than writing.
Fear doesn’t always stop us.
Sometimes…it just slows us down.
And maybe that’s okay.
Maybe the goal isn’t to be fearless. Maybe the goal is to keep moving anyway.
Even if it’s slower than we’d like.
Even if it’s messy.
Even if that little voice still shows up.
Because the stories we’re meant to tell—on the page and in our lives—are still waiting for us to finish them.
So I’ll keep going.
And I hope you will too.
What’s one thing you’ve been putting off that you’re ready to return to?
Love and light,
Portia 💛
Portia Leivette 