This year I committed to reading more nonfiction. I’ve always loved productivity, self-help, and spiritual books. Lately, I’ve shifted toward biographies. I’m currently reading Baldwin: A Love Story by Nicholas Boggs.
James Baldwin’s intelligence and fearlessness always make me pause when I hear him speak. I realized it was time to learn his origin story. Find out where the charm and fire comes from.
Isn’t it interesting how fascinated we are by how other people became who they are?
We want to know:
- What shaped them?
- What routines did they follow?
- What made them successful?
I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole more than once watching videos of writers recreating the daily routines of literary legends. Waking up at 4 a.m. Writing for six hours straight. Drinking exactly what they drank.
And this month, I had a quiet realization:
While I’ve been studying Baldwin… and productivity gurus… and writers who follow perfect daily routines… I’ve been ignoring one person I should probably know by now.
Me.
Studying Yourself Instead of Copying Everyone Else
I’m not the same person I was ten years ago.
My goals are different. My energy is different. My responsibilities are different.
But I’ve been trying to force myself into productivity systems that worked beautifully—for someone else.
And when they didn’t work for me?
I felt like I was failing. So I did what I always do. I turned inward. It was time to sit still.
All the books and videos offer good advice. Truly. But advice is meant to be filtered. I’m the one who always says, “Take what you need and leave what you don’t—including from me.”
And yet, I wasn’t following my own rule.
Structure vs. Suffocation
When I look at my calendar fully blocked and color-coded, I feel an anxiety attack coming on.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a calendar girl. Without structure, nothing gets done.
But too much structure feels like suffocation.
So I made a small shift.
Instead of blocking out every task in detail, I now block 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. simply as “Writing Session.” Within that window, I get to choose: drafting, editing, plotting.
Structure with flexibility.
Discipline with room to breathe.
That’s what works for me.
The Freedom of Imperfection
I love the idea of habit stacking. I love streaks. I love systems.
But if I hit my habits four out of five days? I’m okay with that.
Breaking the chain makes me feel a little more imperfect.
Feeling imperfect makes me happy.
(There’s probably a whole childhood story in that sentence.)
Quiet Progress Is Still Progress
I think sometimes we believe growth has to be dramatic to count.
But February taught me something different:
Progress can be quiet.
Progress can be customized.
Progress can look like studying yourself instead of copying someone else.
The goal isn’t to become James Baldwin.
The goal isn’t to become a productivity guru.
The goal is to become fully yourself.
Staying With the Story
If you’re a fellow writer, this realization is woven through the newest episodes of Habits of a Writer. I just released a four-part series on structure: plotting, word count, character building, and staying with your story long enough to find your voice.
Because I know what it feels like to start something and walk away when it gets hard.
I used to think, “If this is natural talent, why isn’t it easy?”
Now I understand: talent must be developed.
Comparison made me quit too soon. Studying myself made me stay.
If you’re in the middle of your novel, your script, or even your own life story—and you’re tempted to abandon it—maybe you don’t need a new guru.
Maybe you just need to sit still long enough to hear your own rhythm.
You can listen to Habits of a Writer wherever you stream podcasts or on YouTube. I’ll leave the links below.
February didn’t teach me how to be more productive.
It taught me how to be more honest.
And sometimes that’s the most productive thing of all.
Love and light,
Portia 💛
Portia Leivette 