It’s the last day of January.
The ice from last weekend has finally thawed, but the temperatures are still hovering in the twenties. Cold without snow or ice feels pointless somehow. Like winter without commitment.
That’s been my mood lately.
I’m tucked under my blanket, working on the second draft of my novel, staring down Chapter 11—the chapter that matters most to me. I’ve rewritten it more times than I can count, which usually means one thing: I’m overthinking it.
“Let it go,” I tell myself.
Letting go of expectations has been my quiet work this month. I pray for things, but when it comes time to take the risk required to receive them, fear creeps in. I want perfect conditions. I want certainty. I want guarantees.
But that’s not real life.
When I look back at the biggest, most transformative decisions I’ve made, the circumstances were never ideal. They were often dismal. Uncomfortable. Unclear.
The lesson I keep relearning is this:
Don’t wait for the breaking point. The time to act is now.
Learning Without Ego
Another goal I’ve been working on this month is reading more nonfiction. After watching countless YouTube videos about Atomic Habits by James Clear, I finally downloaded it on Audible. I figured it was time to go straight to the source.
What I love about this generation, and maybe about myself now, is that I’m no longer intimidated by learning. Some of the people I learn from are younger than me. They’re experts. And I refuse to let age turn curiosity into insecurity.
If you’ve done something, failed at it, and then figured it out, I’m listening.
And I’m also here to teach.
Teaching While Becoming
If you’re a fellow writer, I’m currently working on an outlining and plotting worksheet designed to help new writers get from idea to draft. I’m not trying to reinvent the wheel. I’m adding my signature to something that already works.
I just completed my fourth manuscript, That Night on the Bridge, and plotting first made all the difference. Finishing became easier because I knew where I was going.
Are you a pantser or a plotter? I’d love to know.
Staying With the Story (On the Page and in Life)
My podcast, Habits of a Writer, is officially in its second season. I recently received an award for reaching my first 50 downloads, which still surprises me. I’m deeply grateful.
The first three episodes focused on staying with your story, especially when you hit the middle and feel stuck. When writers slow down and ask what question the story is trying to answer, the ending reveals itself.
Midlife feels a lot like that.
I’m sitting still a little longer these days. Listening. Starting my mornings with intention. Remembering that if I don’t write the story I’m meant to tell, the muses will happily give it to someone else.
Momentum Without Burnout
I know it’s only January, but I feel on fire in the best way. Working alongside twenty-somethings has reminded me that life is both funny and hard. Hustle when necessary. Rest when needed. Joy is not optional.
Between editing, I’m plotting a screenplay. Next month, I’ll outline the next book.
It sounds like a lot, but it doesn’t feel heavy.
I write because I’m a writer.
I’m a writer because I write.
And this year, I’m acting—before the ice melts.
Stuck in the middle? You’re not alone.
On my podcast, Habits of a Writer, I talk about navigating the messy middle of writing—and midlife—by listening more closely to the story unfolding.
Love and light,
Portia Leivette
Portia Leivette 